Marriage Counselling Ottawa
Relationships can be complicated and even the strongest experience difficulties from time to time. Particularly during times of stress and transition like the birth of a baby or retirement. As a couple, you may find that the ways you coped and connected in the past are no longer working and you want to discover a new path. You may experience regular or escalating conflict or a sense of quietly drifting apart. Marriage counselling/couples therapy can help move your relationship from distress and discord to a sense of being securely connected.
What leads to relationship distress?
Contrary to common wisdom, unhappy couples often don't lack connection. They are frequently intensely connected, the actions of one partner impacting and determining the feelings and reactions of the other and vice versa. However, it is not the type of connection that leads to a feeling of safety in the relationship or that allows each partner to flourish under the conviction that they are loved and valued. Realistically, it is not possible to completely remove conflict from a relationship as no two people will agree all the time and no person is perfect. In unhappy relationships the quality of the bond makes it extremely difficult for the partners to re-establish safe connection and soothe the hurt feelings of their mate after a fight.
The Couples Counselling Process
Marriage counselling does not involve assigning blame, communication training or examining how the relationship progressed to its current state. It is an experiential process that involves identifying what is currently happening in the relationship and replacing it with something better. In session, the marriage counsellor first helps each partner come to a deeper awareness of their feelings. Then helps them understand how these feelings are being translated into behaviour. They are each encouraged to notice how their own behaviour influences their spouse’s responses to them. The couple comes to understand how the feelings and behaviour of both partners form a stable pattern of moves and counter-moves that prevents either of them from getting their needs met.
From this place of greater awareness the marriage counsellor works to enable the couple to have different kinds of exchanges with each other, expressing their feelings and needs in a way that their partner can hear. This shifts the distressing pattern and changes their experience of the relationship for the better. Marriage counselling helps the couple form a new type of connection with each other. Moving them to a place where the relationship feels safe and secure.
If you aren't satisfied with your relationship marriage counselling can help. Call or email today for a free consultation. Contact me